Lucky…

This post is gonna colour me in an unpleasant light, but never mind – I want to get something off my chest.

My being able to go on this trip that I’m planning and starting next week is not lucky. I am not so lucky for being able to go.

Now that that’s said, allow me to elaborate. I appreciate the sentiment when you say I’m lucky, and that really you just mean that I’m gonna have an awesome time and probably that you’re envious of my ability to go. But I am not lucky.

I have no mortgage. No debts to pay. No girlfriend/wife/children to consider. I had a decent job that paid well that I could leave and potentially return to a few years later. I have enough money to reasonably finance a trip like this with no financial hardship being necessary.

None of that is by luck – it’s all by design.

I could have bought a house years ago, taken out a loan for that nice car, found myself a girlfriend and settled down, but I did none of those things. I’ve had to save 50% of my salary every month for the last few years to be able to afford this trip. That isn’t luck, it’s discipline not to spend all my money on things I want, or need. It’s sacrificing a swinging social life and not spending loads on meals out and shows every weekend.

I resent being told I’m lucky being able to do something like this when it’s taken literally years of effort to not only earn the money it’s going to cost, but to then save it and budget my life around not spending it as well. If I’d won the lottery and thus was able to afford it, then I’d be lucky. But I didn’t. I know that’s going to make me sound somewhat indignant, but fuck it.

I’m not lucky. Call it… fortunate, certainly, but not lucky.

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