Well… I wanted to know…

I had the following conversation with a friend and fellow traveller who’s spent the last few months in South East Asia.

THESE THINGS ARE OF IMPORTANT CONCERN, ALL RIGHT?

Me: I have a very pressing question for you.

Friend: yep?

Me: What’re the toilets like in Thailand? Are they those weird things you just have to squat over on the floor? And do they have TP?

Friend: 50% are squat toilets and rarely toilet paper

Me: ‘The fuck do you clean up with?

Friend: you carry your own in your bag
they have a hose too
hose yourself down
it’s fun!

Me: This seems woefully impractical.

Friend: i actually prefer them
you get used to it :)

Me: But, like… how do you not soak all your clothing while you’re cleaning?

Friend: you do sometimes
LOL
but not often
the water comes out in a very thin straight line LOL

Me: See above RE woefully impractical. -_-

Friend: a lot of places will have a toilet but no flush
so you have to fill up a bucket of water

Me: Well, that I’m fine with.

Friend: and hold it over your head
and chuck it in
there was one in phi phi that took 20 mins to flush everytime!
You had to have so much force or it just filled up and overflowed
this is a fun conversation to have over breakfast! :D

Me: Haha, sorry ’bout that.

Friend: but really, the toilets are fine
barely even an issue, and after the first couple of times yo get used to it

Me: Thanks for the info. I was perplexed.

Friend: not anywhere near as bad as china where you didnt even have cubicles and everyone would poo into a giant trough looking at each other
LOL

Me: …

Friend: seriously
it was horrific
my british reservedness did not cope well

Me: I imagine not!

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Big fat lies…

I was lying in the half sleep you get just after you’ve woken up when you’d really rather fall back to sleep, but your mind is still functioning on a dream level.

I came up with an idea.

When it first came out, keeping in mind how long ago the first film was, I was fairly frequently mocked by being called Harry Potter. This was because I wore glasses and had dark hair, I can only presume, because that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

But.

I still have dark hair, though it is substantially shorter than Harry’s, I still wear glasses (some of the time) though they’re notably less round than Harry’s, and, well, I have a nice authentic British accent.

By jove, I shall pretend to be related to J.K. Rowling and, in fact, I am who she based the character on! Genius.

I can even back this up with a picture of Hogwarts school I took, which is where she got the inspiration for that and the location to use in the movies.

Taken by my own fair hand

I am going to a party filled with strangers later. Mwa-aha-aha-ha.

Now to research which of JK’s relatives I could be…